A place to unwind.
I know that I love Matthew with all my heart and my soul. I know that when I wake up and see his sleeping face, I smile. And when he hugs me, it feels like home. And when he laughs, my whole body lights up.
But what I don’t know is how stressful our life is going to be in 10, 15, 20 years, how parenting is going to affect our friendship, how hardship and illness will impact our relationship. I don’t know what the future is going to be or bring.
I’m saying yes to forever with him because I’m confident we will make it through all of life’s challenges and that he is 100% worth the effort to make it work.
However... it doesn’t hurt to prepare.
Insert the 12 Labors of Love (or as Matt likes to refer to them, the feats of Hercules).
We’re getting married in 12 months! The time sounds so long and so short at the same time. And although it’s going to be hectic planning a wedding, working full time, and traveling/celebrating everyone else’s amazing milestones - I want us to take this time to prepare ourselves for what a wedding really is: a promise to forever.
Each month, we’re going to be working on a pillar that we feel will support a strong, healthy marriage. We do want children so we also included pillars/values that we want to instill in our children and be a good role model for. We’ve had a few heartfelt conversations in the month we’ve been engaged(still can’t get over it!!) and identified 12 that we agreed would help us grow in our commitment to each other:
Friends & Family
Additionally, we have 12 people in our wedding party (total coincidence but how magical!) and we’ve designated one to each person that we think represents that pillar. They’re going to be a sponsor, or accountability partner if you will, and we also welcome their input into ways we can help grow in that area.
At this point, this idea is still a little abstract in my head and I’m anticipating fleshing these concepts out as we go.
I wanted to document the journey though to capture how we grow as we help our relationship buff up and I wanted to share the journey in this manner for our friends and family to follow along and witness our commitment to each other, for other people taking the ‘I Do’ plunge that may find some inspiration for how they can get prepare, for people who are married or in a long term relationship to share their advice and wisdom or maybe to explore how they can further grow in their own marriages.
This experience is meant to be made of love, with love, for love. I want this to be my first promise to Matt - that I will never be complacent when it comes to our marriage. That I anticipate marriage is going to be work and that I am fully committed to making this, “us”, you and me work. Forever. Together.